My hormones are certainly raging and sitting here in this short skirt and high heels, I can only laugh. I can feel both my ovaries throbbing in pain ready to drop these eggs, but that doesn't stop me from walking thru the NY city streets, up and down flights of stairs, doing my sexy walk HAHA!! I wear flats or sneakers every single day, but when I'm dropping 2 eggs, biology takes over apparently!

And it certainly did last night, I was in attack mode in every way. Damn DC and his sexiness!!! First of all, I was so irritated from the busy day I'd had and skipping lunch that by the time I caught up with DC to go over his creative planning, I was a straight up biatch.

So, he says, did you just come here to kill the mood or what? You're right, I say...I need a drink. Can we get out of here, I ask... So of course he cracks open a bottle and I am drinking, almost guzzling (NOT sipping) and he just laughs at me. You must like this wine, he laughs since he's been complaining about it the whole time. Either way, it still gets you drunk, was my reply. He laughs some more. But I'm in such a bad mood that I'm not so cute. Or nice. Or sweet, just salty and crunchy and a little bit stale.

This time, we are standing together, my arms around his neck, raining butterfly kisses across the bridge of his nose, behind his ear, the back of his neck when he bends down to smell my mine, back to his stubbled chin... Him rubbing the softest lips across my neck, exquisite torture, pulling me closer, never kissing my lips but feeling his breathe against my face... Why does this always happen when we're together, I say softly. I do enjoy the time with you, I say smiling and pressing up against him.

I tried my hardest to seduce him, but he resisted me - he had somewhere to go...huh? I can't get it, really I can't. A beautiful woman is intent upon you and you do nothing??

Damn him, what is it?? Am I too easy, always available? Then again, does it even matter?? I want him and he wants me, its obvious. Every time we get together the little touches start, he gets me started...

As he was walking me to the train, I remarked "well we always want what we can't have..." And he was like, Yeah, well.... That's his game, he wants to be wanted, desired, chased so that he is the one holding all of the cards. I am certainly chasing him and while the jealously and sheer confusion nearly overtakes me, he is calm and ultimately in control. What else could he be when I offer over my body and soul to him willingly, and he rejects me - for whatever reason. What guy turns down a beautiful woman and sex

Either he wants to keep me at arms length bc he doesn't want me being too attached, or what we are doing doesn't feel like cheating to him. And at this point, do I even care anymore? Not so much. I'm about to move to party central, chock full of every type of man imaginable. The pickings will be plentiful, without a doubt. But I want him, now.

I'm tired of being so dutiful, so worried about my own reputation - WHY!?!?! Who cares!! I wish the guilt would go away and I could just enjoy myself without thinking a bout the consequences (or lack of results). Just enjoy myself and live my life happy.